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Friday, August 14, 2009

This Week on Planet Me...

For the first time in ages I seem to have drawn a complete blank. Its not conventional writer's block, its just Australian Idol is on the telly and therefore I've just experienced my first Black Hole. I think it was the Asian guy singing "Imagine" who started sucking the gravity out of the room and now five minutes later all my brain matter is tinkering on the event horizon of complete mindless ear pillaging tripe.

Maybe I'm just jealous there is no New Zealand Idol, but even if there was I would never go down that road again. I'll never forget... actually scratch that, it seems I've intentionally forgotten the day I queued in the rain behind thousands of wannabe Australians at Brisbane's Suncorp Stadium just to be told, after hours of umbrella holding and fantasising about blowing the judges minds with my vocal whips, that there were too many contestants and to come back tomorrow.

Which I did. And I sucked.

I had spent the whole week strolling down The Spit on the Gold Coast with my collie screaming out the chorus of Kermit the Frog's Rainbow Connection to the applause of angry waves who would have told me to shut up were they not concentrating on smashing their faces on the hard seashore. In the end I got into an audition which was a dark room with a trio of judges who were definitely not the ones you see on TV. I sang four lines of the chorus to Wondering (an original) only to be told, "Thank-you, you're not quite what we're looking for."

Then I was picked up by my brother who wore bright red ski pants to South Bank for no good reason other than to humiliate me even more than I already felt. I don't even remember what year that was, 2004? At least my dream of becoming a world famous pop star died a slow and painless death of old age three years later. So now my wife has left the room, excuse me while I switch the telly off...

Ah that's better.

Apparently Friday is the day that historically honors the Norse goddess otherwise known as Frigg. If I had of known that I wouldn't have loved Friday's so much. False gods and goddesses don't do much for me... but when I found out that in old High German it was called Frigedag I thought it sounded just enough like "fridge" to keep me enthused by this usually happy day. I say "usually" because I'm in mourning for having eaten the last of the ice cream and also tomorrow I am working the day shift. Imagine there was an echo and a thunder clap when I said "Day Shift"...

Otherwise its been a tremendous week! I was thrilled when I discovered I had earned 12 whole cents thanks to some generous reader who probably accidentally supported one of my sponsors... but it made me feel a certain optimism that if I saved 12 cents a week for the next 127 years the amount I saved would replace my current annual income and I would be able to put my feet up for 12 months... except I haven't accounted for inflation or the possibility that the Builderburgers will have systematically decreased the world's population by 93% and money will be a mark in most people's foreheads. And my 12 cents will die a lonely death in Scrooge McDuck's Money Bin. But thanks for the thought... it really motivated me to keep writing... seriously, it really did... I'm not sure I can write this sentence without sounding sarcastic but one does get a thrill when he checks his Google Adsense and sees something has actually happened and that the system really does work.

Actually, I had an unprecedented 156 hits between today and last Fridge Day which was a personal record I would be happy to break by the next time I open my fridge. That either means I've got 156 readers who visit my blog at least once a week or 7 readers who visit Kerinthians 22 times a day. Which would be kind of sad.

But seriously, thanks to everyone who has dropped by in recent days, it was nice to have you over, sorry I couldn't offer you anything to eat.

I begin every week with the intention to write one blog a day with the exception of Sundays. This week I broke all my rules.

Sunday I was asked a question about Christianity and Yoga which I tried to answer to the best of my agility.
Monday I commented further after the questioner responded, but I have to say I'm still mostly undecided on the issue, then I posted a review on Ryan Reynold's Movie Chaos Theory.
Tuesday I saw the utmost movie of this year (even better than Star Trek) - District 9, and I couldn't help but review it. I'm inviting it to all my future birthday parties henceforth.

Then Wednesday came and the couch claimed my consciousness, robbing me of the pleasure of bugging you again so Thursday I resorted to Number 2 of something productive to do on the loo. I would have written number 3 tonight but I need to think more about the pro's and cons of practicing chemistry on the cold seat of relief.

Some people might wonder how I can go from Film reviews to deep theological contemplation to toilet humour but I'm trying to keep my site as eclectic as possible... the more readers that write me questions though the more material I have to work with and the less desperate I become for content!

In fact one of my more astute readers has asked me a deeper than normal question regarding Christianity and the Absence of Miracles which I am eager to sink my teeth into... hopefully I'll be able to tackle that one later tonight, but I have work tomorrow and the telly is on again so we'll see... or not...

So for now I will just leave you with some homework... yes, the dreaded "H" Word... as you go your cherry trek through the rest of next week please leave me a comment or two so I can decide whether my readers are real people or not and forward to at least 5 of your friends followed by 5 of your enemies and help me drive a few more people insane, then maybe you will get a gold star on your Good Student Chart and a chocolate bar at the end of the year... actually no you won't, my invisible lawyers tell me I can't promise something I was never actually willing to give.

Enjoy your weekend while I'm slaving at work!


P.S. Don't forget I'm on facebook so add me and stuff..

Here's a funny clip I saw recently...

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