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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Tranformers 2 – A Review

I think the words of a dear friend of mine summed this film up nicely - "It was two and a half hours of jar Jar Binks" - and indeed it was.
If you can get past the dog humping antics of not just the films cameo Chihuahua, but also of a converted Decepticon who develops a crush for Sam Whitwickies girlfriend then you might stand a chance of enjoying this movie. Seriously there are a lot of adult concepts in this film and I pity the person who accidentally takes their children to see it expecting a good wholesome (and expensive) night out.
There is also a great deal of "low level" swearing and although the "F" word is substituted for the "fricken" variety, well the intention is there and doesn't leave much for the imagination. Oh yeah, did I mention the sexual over-currents? I still can't get over the Minicon getting nasty with the movies love interest, as if we needed to be reminded that that was the only reason Megan Fox is in this film - to stand there and look pretty and pretty much nothing else...
And then there is the violence.... there is one scene where Optimus rips a Decepticons face in half with his built in Hand Hooks, which when you think about it is a pretty neat trick but hello! I thought Transformers was for kids? The question I would put to Hasbro and Mr Bay is why are you turning a kids toy and cartoon into something over sexed and nasty? We get enough of that sort of rubbish by watching Oprah or Doctor Phil when we find ourselves trapped at home for day time trouble vision... (which has also become oversexed and nasty!)
But I digress... I actually enjoyed the film as far as simple good butt kicking entertainment goes BUT you really need the perception of time of a German Shepherd to take it all in... you know how dogs can't watch TV because they're eyes perceive 24 frames a second as actual snapshots appearing on the screen... well, that’s the ability you need to fully appreciate the CGI because the action is soooooooo fast, if you blink, you will miss it... and maybe its just my ancient ears but I did find the moving parts, the screeching of metal on metal and the rickety joints of some of the characters a tad over done because I couldn't hear what they were saying half of half the time...

But hey, what do I know? I'm just a projectionist.

I suppose I should mention what the film is actually about. Basically our Hero, Sam Whitwicky, from the first film, wants to go to college and have a normal life but as he packs his bags a piece of the All Spark falls out of his jumper (the jumper, also from the first movie) and when he looks at it something magical happens... the All Spark puts something in the kids brain - something that the Decepticons want so badly that they will stop at nothing to get it. Meanwhile the Autobots are getting their hands slapped by, yep, you guessed it, the Us government because the all powerful Obama (surprisingly) doesn't like them anymore... watch it carefully if you don't believe me on this point, Michael Bay doesn't paint the all saint president in a good light and that earns the movie an extra star in my book... oooooooh controversial....
I could go on but the plot is really basic, boy becomes fugitive, boy goes to Egypt where the great pyramid ends up being a great big shoot-at-the-sun-lazar-gun which creates energon for the hungry Decepticons... oh yeah Optimus dies too... but don't worry, I haven't ruined the film for you!
All up I give this film an 8 out of ten for excitement and mindless boredom busting but for content and culture I give it a great big American Salute and a resounding 4 out of the same scale.
So, Finally I will leave you with this one question that keeps bugging me... can anyone tell me why Michael Bay almost always has a scene with soldiers walking in slow motion? Why is that?

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