Attention Grammar Police!

If you should find offenses to the English language in any of my articles please leave a comment and let me know so that I can obliterate it forever! Thanks!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Pimp My Hundred Bucks - Part Eleven or The Half Way Mark

The end is near.

As 2012 draws to a close, the Mayan Calendar predicted that my last blog for the year would be sometime next week.

It is rather embarrassing knowing that millions of people around the world are panicking over the end of almost everything when actually it was only that the Mayan thinkers of the time gave up on mapping beyond 2012 on becoming aware that the world would be thrown into chaos over most of my readers not having anything to read over the Christmas holidays.

I’m terribly sorry everyone, please don’t sell your homes or give away your life savings just yet, it’s all just been one great big misunderstanding!

Great, so now that we’ve cleared up that small matter I have to say in all seriousness that next Monday after writing Part Twelve of this series, I will be closing up shop so to speak, until sometime near the end of January.

I have alluded to the madness of the last few weeks. I have weathered the craziness of work, faced off with an imaginary Santa trying to mug me for money for toys and my health has taken a smack down from hay fever allergies so bad that my constant sneezing has been like a Universe of nanoscopic supernova’s igniting one after the other in suicidal succession, casting their nebulous nastiness into my tormented handkerchief.

So I’m afraid I have to stop, recuperate and return next year to complete this journey of financial love.

I had imagined that hoards of customers would flock to my stock for some summer reading, but I guess they’re all suffering from Christmas Madness as well… either that or it really is the end of the world...

Nevertheless I am happy with the eight books I successfully sold over the past seven days, which were:

Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Road Maps - $3
Shakespeare’s Histories - $3
Mammoth Hunters - $5
Plains of Passage - $5
The Looney by Spike Milligan - $3
The Age of Reason by Jean Paul Sartre - $4
The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth - $6
Sphere by Michael Crichton - $3

Loading me up with a nice healthy $32 to add to my booty, bringing my grand total up to $255.04 and only $244.96 to go until I can say I have truly pimped my hundred bucks!

Actually the figure should be more like $262; except a customer from the previous week is yet to pay me… normally I would have relisted the book by now but its Christmas so he’s getting some amnesty…

Nevertheless I am happy to have stubbed my toe on this milestone, the halfway mark, because I know it's all down hill from here next year...

On another note I figured out how to view the total amount of my adsense earnings for all time… so I can amend my adsense figures to $35.69 total earnings plus $1.00 for this month so far... however that won’t be included in the total above until either pigs fly kites or I receive a $100 cheque in the mail, whichever comes first; chances are they will both come last.

In my efforts to increase my adsense revenue I have been pumping some hopelessly lame videos onto YouTube. I’ll include a link below if you’d like something worse than a nail to puncture your eyeballs with. Somewhere buried amongst this year’s blogs is my “Cleverly Devised Dictionary of Difficult Words” which I have started to convert into a Musical Dictionary, which is always fun… I’ve also begun putting various original songs onto my channel, which is what my Amateur vs Pro blogs are all about…

But really, my YouTube antics are nothing more than an act of desperation, or perhaps a possible early sign of mental illness, I’ll let you decide.

But it makes sense to incorporate my adsense revenue into this series, because I’m now getting about 60 or so page views a day, and that’s just from this Blog. I know those page views are probably from Monkeys in some lab somewhere trying to write Hamlet of the Apes, but for now I’ll enjoy the delusion that actual people are reading this, I wouldn’t know because most of the comments I get are from spammers who speak worse English than a dead Hamster!

So now that I have prattled on about rubbish here’s what this week is going to look like. I still have heaps of unlisted stock sitting on my living room shelf, and stupidly I bought 50+ books for $4.50 from desperate bulk sellers on Trademe, I say stupidly because there’s no way I’m going to get all of that listed by the end of this week, which is actually the plan – List, list and relist until Saturday comes, when all my listing ceases until next year.

Finally it’s my birthday next Sunday so please don’t forget! I haven’t arranged a PO Box for you to forward my presents to but never fear, hitting the “Like” button below and sharing this series via your favourite social networks is more than I could hope for from most of you.

Actually, my wife is taking me to Hobbiton for my birthday, one of the few advantages of living in New Zealand besides the many other advantages that is. I’ll be sure to take lots of photos!

Also coming up this weekend, besides aging another year, I intend on finally publishing Pimp My Twenty Bucks: A Money Making Odyssey as an eBook, so if you’re still wondering what to get whoever for Christmas, look no further, get them that.

But more on that next week…


Click Here to read Part Twelve of this series!

Click Here to view my Silly YouTube Channel

Click Here if you would like to follow my progress on Facebook!

Click Here to read this series from the beginning!

Click Here to read my awesome last series, Pimp My Twenty Bucks

Click Here to view my Trademe Listings






No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.