Pimp My Hundred Bucks - Part Four

As brilliant as the past seven days have been, I am still not yet the master of the wobbly boat.

First of all there’s Felix, my evil cat who I mentioned in my last series…

Well, Felix has a “brother” called Fernando who was in every way the opposite of everything that made Felix a pain. Fernando was the perfect male cat until he got pregnant. This week I discovered his tummy was getting bigger and so were his kitty nipples… after further investigation I discovered he was missing something unique to all male cats, making him a female.

Now I have to consider gender reassignment as a possible expenditure when all of this is over, that is if I want “him” to keep the name Fernando. At least my kids will enjoy having some kittens for a while, at least until for as long as it takes me to find them new homes!

Anyone want a kitten?

While this is a good example of the price of procrastination, it also demonstrates what not paying close attention will cost you!

I’ve procrastinated on a few things with regards to this monetary adventure. In the past week I was unable to list all the new stock of 20 books which I had purchased for $12.

I still haven’t made the trip to ANZ Bank to invest my $20 into Bonus Bonds.

I still haven’t got a proper grasp of what exactly I am doing.

Now that’s not to say this isn’t working. On the contrary it’s working very well… but a little too well…

Allow me to show you…

In the past seven days I sold the following books:



The Haj by Leon Uris -$3
What Einstein told his barber by R.L. Wolke -$3
Black House by Stephen King -$4
The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham -$3
A Sparrow Falls by Wilbur Smith -$3
Stark by Ben Elton -$3
The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay -$6
Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot -$5
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck -$3
Inside the Spaceships by George Adamski -$6



Giving me a total of $39, less than last week but still significantly more than I was making when I was trying to turn $20 into $100!

Having sold ten books I intend to replace them with another 20 (if I can actually find the time to list them all!) So I will set aside $12 for that mission...

I’ve also relisted all the books from the last seven days that did not sell. Actually most of my listings are out of sync now, due to my only being able to list them as the time allows me to. In the past I tended to wait until the end of a seven day period to relist all the books that closed during the week but I have decided to try and keep the river flowing by relisting everything as it ends.

As of the publication of this blog, I currently have 107 titles listed with more to come throughout the week!

So here’s where it gets kind of tricky. Ok, really tricky.

I’m not an accountant, obviously. In fact right now I feel like I’m in a Nightmare on Elm St Scenario, where I’ve fallen asleep and am being chased by Freddie the Accountant who has ball point pens instead of fingers and a calculator for a face! An 80’s calculator no less!

I’ve crunched the numbers for this week and I can’t figure out why I have MORE money than I should!

I’ve mentioned before that I have a special account called the Dog Ears account that only I use. No money goes in or out other than what my customers feed into it and what I withdraw for expenses…

Right now there is $68 in Dog Ears, $39 going in from this week’s sales and $25 in my Trademe account.

So after taking into account listing fees, success fees and the $12 I’ve set aside for new stock I am left with $120!

$20 more than the $100 I started out with!

Not that I want to complain about breaking beyond my beginnings, or about having only $380 to go until I’ve reached my goal of $500, I just want to figure out how last week’s figure of $74 plus $39 culminate into $120 (minus the $12)?

That's just not good arithmetic!

I feel like I’m riding a bigger horse than I’m used to, worse than that, the horse is being frightened by a crazed mathematician. Man I hope there are no Math genius’ reading this! The horse is running with me.

I’ve checked the bank statements, I’ve checked everything, and all I can conclude is that last week’s figures must have been wrong somehow, though I can’t figure out how.

So I really must apologize, but I am the guy who mistook his favourite cat for a dude for the past ten months!

Nevertheless, the show must go on. I have decided to accept my good, albeit miscalculated fortune and press forward.

But as the old proverb says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Thankfully nothing I do is right in my own eyes, I’d have to be cross-eyed for that… but I’m standing in the wobbly boat wondering how I’m going to keep it from tipping. If anyone has any advice, feel free to throw it at me like one of those life saver things.

Thanks Dan, one of my esteemed readers for pointing out that I should be looking out for first editions! Unfortunately I sold “Inside the Spaceships” by George Adamski for only $6 I had no idea the book was rare! Probably not unique enough to retire this series early, but I have a strong feeling the guy who bought it from me would have gladly paid more!

Yet another mistake I have been forced to learn from. But like I said before, you must pay for your education and that was a lesson well spent.

Until next time, here are some links I hope you will play with, because they’re lonely and need to be clicked!

Click Here to read Part Five in this series!

Click Here if you would like to follow my progress on Facebook!

Click Here to read this series from the beginning!

Click Here to read my awesome last series, Pimp My Twenty Bucks

Click Here to view my Trademe Listings

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