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Saturday, September 29, 2012

Pimp My Twenty Bucks - The End...


Before you read any further go get that bottle of champagne you were saving for your second honeymoon and bring it to your computer, because you might want to toast with me on this one.

It is with a hefty sum of alacrity that I write this, the final chapter in what can best be described as a magical process of making money do what it was meant to – and that is, to grow.

Taking baby sloth steps through the muddy lapse of 18 weeks (or 126 days to be exact), I took a plain old twenty bucks and planted it in the rich organic soil of the internet and carefully tended it until it bore me the fruit of a tender ripe and juicy One Hundred and Twelve Dollars!

That’s right, I EXCEEDED my goal like a petrol marinated soccer ball enveloped in flames; burning through the goalies hands as if he were a Wiggle handling a very hot potato!

Allow me now to give you a brief verbal montage of how the last 18 weeks, and 16 blogs, went down…

I took her royal highness, the green queen clad $20, and purchased 16 books from a local op shop for $10. Using the remaining $10 I listed them on the New Zealand based trading site, Trademe…

Not to bore you with the intimate details of the process, in my first week I sold some books, banked the profits, bought more books and listed them along with whatever didn’t sell the previous week.

In the second week I sold some more books and did the same again, right up until last week. Each week I refined the process of replacing every book I sold with two books, thus ensuring my stock grew as well as the chu-ching of my savings account, which I affectionately named “Dog Ears.”

The goal all along was to turn my tiny twenty into a humongous hundred, and by the 18th week I was just over $7 short of my objective with a whopping 51 books in stock! The floor of my bedroom and whatever flat surface I could find in my house had become a growing city of skyscraping books reaching for my ceiling!

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary app, the definition for “intense” reads something like, “existing in an extreme degree,” or “having or showing a characteristic in the extreme degree.” But after this week the entry will read, “The extreme degree of suspense as that Pimp My Twenty Bucks guy finally made it to his goal of a hundred smackaroos.”

I kid you not at all – this last week was intense, but it paid off as I sold:

Water Babies by Charles Kingsley for $4
Nemesis by Isaac Asimov for $3
Tommo & Hawk by Bryce Courtenay for $3
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck for $6
The Potato Factory by Bryce Courtenay for $4

Quite probably the most amount of books I have sold in a week so far, leaving me to wonder if it being the week before the School Holidays here in NZ had anything to do with it? Not that I believe your average teenager wants to read the next fortnight away, perhaps there are five parents out there who want to escape their teenagers being at home by losing themselves in a book which also serves the dual purpose of being a useful thing to throw at your 16 year old when they annoy you… who knows, all this is mere speculation.

As for me, I’m in an adulationable mood because, a) I just made up the word “adulationable” and b) the sale of these last five books hurtled me to a final sum of $112.46! Not to mention I still have 46 books in stock, which is more than enough to host your own book burning!

So this is what Neil Armstrong, may he rest in peace, must have felt when he first planted his heavy booted foot on the dusty surface of a sound stage in Nevada?

Ok, so it’s just a hundred bucks, but who cares! I have proven methodically that money + something you love (in my case books) + the internet + a bit of patience and effort = more money. I’m happy with that.

One of my favourite celebratory scenes in popular culture is that of the Ewoks after the rebels have defeated the Empire for the last time. (Yes this is a Star Wars analogy!) The fully operational second Death Star has just exploded in the heavens and its debris is falling through the atmosphere of Endor like the best fireworks display ever, while the oversized teddy bears who live in the trees are jumping in serious ecstasy to the rhythm of storm trooper helmeted bongo drums.

Right now I feel like the newly polished C3P0 glinting in the glow of the moment. That’s how I’m going to celebrate tonight. I have every intention of raiding my children’s teddy bear collection and reenacting the last five minutes of Return of the Jedi in my living room while everyone else is asleep! You can join me in your imagination right now if you like.

But I guess the question presently on everyone’s mind is not how I’m going to fit into a C3PO costume but rather what am I going to do with my $112, for which I worked so very hard to grow? I’ve already pointed out I’m not spending it on my cat’s demasculinization (I’m just full of made up words tonight!). The stinky dead skin on my feet can cope with the shoes I have and my dear old mother might have to wait until Christmas before she sees me again…

Because you see, this is not really the end…

Over the last 18 weeks, applying the principles I have demonstrated has made me think that if I can do this with $20, what can I do with $100? What if I Pimp My $100?

That’s one question I want to create an answer for, and I’m hoping you will join me (actually I’ve used subliminal techniques in this article to ensure you will) as I embark on a brand new adventure of turning $100 into $500.

Hopefully by now you’ve drank enough of that champagne to be open to some careful manipulation and you’re currently thinking it would be a great idea to “like” my Fan Page on Face Book.

But, if you don’t have Champagne or you can’t handle the thought of me in a polished droid outfit, you can press the “like” button below to congratulate me for actually making it to the finishing line! Or, if reverse psychology works best for you, don’t click on it.

Click Here to Read this Series from the beginning


Click Here to Read my new series Pimp My Hundred Bucks (oops, I haven'te written it yet!)


Click Here to see a cute story about Kittens that has absolutely nothing to do with this series.

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