Attention Grammar Police!

If you should find offenses to the English language in any of my articles please leave a comment and let me know so that I can obliterate it forever! Thanks!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

A Weak Come Back

Have you ever been told off for passing wind in your bed? I have. This morning I was in trouble not just for the act but for the fact that the gas giant leaping through the sheets had “Personality” according to my lovely wife.
I honestly try not to do it but it’s the morning and although I’m awake the etiquette part of my brain is still in the flickering stages of switching on.
So speaking of gas here is a new addition to Kerinthians – a Donate Now box… now don’t be scared, it’s not going to bite you and there is obviously no obligation except for those of you with a weak conscience. But seriously, every writer or wannabe like myself dreams of better days when they can quit their day job and actually make a living doing the thing they love, and as no publisher would touch me with a barge poll, unless it’s to squash me, then for now I will have to settle for this little gimmick.
Think of me as one of those buskers who do stupid things on the street and then holds out his hat in the hope that some cornered individual might pay him just to go away. On second thoughts don’t think of me like that at all…
In any case, here it is, the “Donate Now Button”, press it and see what happens…



Pay with Paymate Express




Isn’t she lovely?

And just so you don’t feel like you spent the last five minutes listening to a begger with a sign saying “I will no use this money to buy alcohol… I promise…” Here is something that made my week…

If you ever lend your car to someone and provided you have a CD player do what I did the other day. Buy the Lion King Sound Track, select the first track where it has that really loud African guy shouting at the top of his lungs and turn your car off just before he makes his ear shattering debut. Then make sure the CD player is turned on as loud as it will go and give your mate the keys.

The next morning if all goes well you can rest assured your friend will get the wake up call of a life time, will be wide awake on the way to work and have you to thank for it. You should receive an interesting text message at some point soon after you have scared last nights dinner out of him as well. Even now I chuckle when I think about the expression on his face when the tribal scream stabbed him in the ears. Everyone should start the day with a tormenting Disney song.

Finally, if you don’t want to give me your money then at least give me your ideas. Feel free to flick me a question or two and I will answer it as best as I can’t. Remember, every dumb question will be out done by an even dumber answer; it should be fun…

Please forward all questions to kerinthians@gmail.com and remember the only thing I won't answer is "Who the sam hill are you?" Because that will just prove to me you haven't been reading and my answer will be extra ultra dumb...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.