Kerinthian's

Happy New Year! So the hot topic of last year's last evening was whether we now say "two thousand and ten" or "twenty ten"? Personally I like "twenty ten" because as a child of "Nineteen seventy eight" and having pronounced my years that way for the first 21 years of my life it makes more sense to say the year with such a comfortable mouthful. Let's face it, 10 years of having to say the word "thousand" before every year is exhausting, bad for asthmatics and I'm protesting! It was a fun night out tonight with friends in their happening backyard where the wind blew, we shivered in this strangely cold Auckland Summer around a brazier as we tore steak apart with our teeth, downed a few beers and blew stuff up as the clock struck 12. Highlights for 2009? Becoming a Dad, hands down. Greatest moment of this year. Nothing comes close to comparing. Second greatest moment was buying our first home since the last one we owned and the ...

Its 12.30 in the a.m. and I'm wondering why I am torturing myself at the desk top here? Probably because I'm notoriously lonely with my wife and baby being all the way on the other side of the trough in that wretched wasteland we typically call Australia. I have to call it a “wretched wasteland” because then I can pretend that I didn't just spend a beautiful week soaking up the sun and hitting the beaches in the QLD... especially now that I have returned to that dismal dark corridor I work in with those loud machines that feed the masses such banal rubbish everyday (I'm a movie projectionist in case you've forgotten). The second reason I have to refer to Australia in a derogatory manner is because I am a Kiwi and that’s what we Kiwi’s do, we pretend that Australia sucks, even when it doesn’t. It’s in my genes. But in all seriousness, it doesn’t suck and it’s not wretched at all. If Australia was guilty of one sin it would only be that it is insufferably hot and sti...

I suppose you could say my new years revolution (because my resolutions almost always fail I will call it a revolution instead; should it succeed it really would be a revolution!) would be that I will give a better go of blogging. For lots of reasons of course, the main being that I want lots of people to read it and shower me with accolades that land gently on my ego and heal the bruises of my day job! But also because I saw that rediculous movie - Julie and Julia. My wife made me do it.... ok so I lie, I actually wanted to see it but I found the movie worthy of a seperate condemning review, so all I will say is as annoyingly girlie as the movie was it did inspire me to write. Here was Julie writing about cooking until one day someone sends her what looks like a bottle of Nando's Perri Perri Sauce and I started thinking, man if I write daily maybe eventually someone will send me some thing to eat? Anyway, enough of that, I guess its because I haven't had breakfast yet and i...

So as you may or may not care, I thought I would tell you about my recent adventures in Fatherhood, or as it is known in some cultures: “that man who lives in the same house as your mom, who you ask for things when mom has already said ‘No’” Thankfully, as my title suggests, my little treasure is a tad too young to manipulate me in such a common but none the less devious way. However in such a short time she has managed to rap me around her little finger – and given the size of her little finger; that’s a whole lot of me! I think I will spare you the grisly details of the first few hours of her life because, well, I’m not in a gory mood just now… But I will say this, I thought I would be one of those husbands in the delivery room, standing well away from the scene of the crime, trying desperately not to be a witness or even a suspect but I rather surprised myself and the Midwife who later praised me for my valuable contribution to the proceedings… in fact I was ready to do it all aga...

Have you ever been told off for passing wind in your bed? I have. This morning I was in trouble not just for the act but for the fact that the gas giant leaping through the sheets had “Personality” according to my lovely wife. I honestly try not to do it but it’s the morning and although I’m awake the etiquette part of my brain is still in the flickering stages of switching on. So speaking of gas here is a new addition to Kerinthians – a Donate Now box… now don’t be scared, it’s not going to bite you and there is obviously no obligation except for those of you with a weak conscience. But seriously, every writer or wannabe like myself dreams of better days when they can quit their day job and actually make a living doing the thing they love, and as no publisher would touch me with a barge poll, unless it’s to squash me, then for now I will have to settle for this little gimmick. Think of me as one of those buskers who do stupid things on the street and then holds out his hat in the h...

“Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.” Matthew 25:27 We all should know the story by now. Christ’s famous parable about the 3 servants and the great big wad of cash their master had entrusted them with while he went on a long journey. To one he gave five “talents” (one talent is equal to about a thousand dollars), to another two talents and to the third one talent. He wasn’t showing favouritism either. This Master of the house knew his servants individual capabilities and so entrusted them with exactly what he knew they could manage. Then he went on his trip. Each servant goes out and does something with their master’s cash. The first with the most invests it wisely and turns it into a whopping $10,000, while the second goes and doubles his share…. But the third… This guy is of the “afraid of nothing” variety and out of fear and laziness goes and takes his measly $1000 and buries it in...

The title of this article has nothing to do with what I have to say but was inspired by my wife who is standing there trying to rock my 4 month old to sleep - its not working. Of course I am being the ever helpful Husband and am sitting here typing away to my hearts content! I just wanted to touch base with my readership and apologise for my sudden disappearance from the bloggerverse. I wasn't raptured (although I wish I was) but rather my attention was diverted to something a little less creative - a video game. (which is retro slang for computer game) I'm sure to write a review about it sooner or later. I figured after 3 months of sleepless nights with a new and very loud baby I deserved to spend my tax return on something that allowed me to run around a simulated world and throw whirlwinds and lightning bolts at computer animated maniacs. Probably not the best way to spend my time but at least its mostly out of my system. Needless to say I've been feeling very guilty ...