Dear Internet - Part One
Dear Internet, Instead of a good old fashioned diary in which to pour my riveting daily happenings I've decided to blog them instead. That way, knowing that a potential audience is reading about my personal life I will be forced to embellish my mundane experiences and hyperbolate to the point that my life might seem interesting. Don't get me wrong, I am very greatful for the things my life has been blessed with, after all I have a beautiful wife, kids and two cats that I hate (I mean I hate my cats, not my family!), but by blogging my days away things like brushing my teeth go from this: "Dear diary, this morning I got up and brushed my teeth. I spat in the sink, cleaned my tooth brush and then remembered to have breakfast, only to brush my teeth again." To this: "Dear Internet, this morning I arose from the tomb of my bed where I had lain for 6 hours like a corpse awaiting the Last Trumpet. When I had come to terms with the miracle of still being alive...